This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
