I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
