do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
