god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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