Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
