You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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