You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize