I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
