I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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