Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
