i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
