I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there's paper in my vomit.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
