Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
