So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
