I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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