Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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