ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize