You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
