It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
