I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I want to make a zoo with you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
