So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
