I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
