so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
