did you get engaged???
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
