I accidentally burped into my bong.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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