Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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