She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
