watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
