Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
