I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
That's intense
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
