You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
