yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
