yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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