He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
