I hope mine doesn't look like that
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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