Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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