all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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