Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
