bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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