If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
