so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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