I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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