somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
