i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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