man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
