And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
