i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
