Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
