I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
