Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
