if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
