You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
