just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
