she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you win again, gameday.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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