We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
