I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
