I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it penis luge time yet?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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