The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
two words: eviction party
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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