K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
