Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
