with your own penis?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
