Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
