He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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