dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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