The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
